Let me tell ya

about Kim.

Loyal | Funny | Particular

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Kim: the facts, figures, and myths

We offer a range of services to meet the needs of every client. Have something else in mind? We'd be happy to work with you to create a custom quote.

  • If you asked Kim what her favourite things are, she'd probably very sweetly say something like "oh you know, going to the gym, drinking a spicy margarita, and travelling with my friends and just having a good old time.”

    Boring. Basic. Not actually who she is.

  • Kim was born and raised in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, good ol’ USA. She moved to London in 2020 and has been living the dream here ever since.

    She works at an advertising agency, where she’s absolutely killer at her job.

    She’s extremely active (ask her about F45 or Hyrox and just see what she says) when she wants to be and an absolute lazy bum when she doesn’t want to be.

    And she has an AMAZING group of friends (hairflip) who are all fun-loving goofballs. Kim spearheads this goofball group with extremely concerning and unhinged “would you rather” questions and always brings the vibe.

  • I’ll tell you what I think Kim wants, and then she can correct me: Kim wants someone who is:

    1. Funny

    2. Loyal

    3. Athletic

    4. Attentive

    5. Honest

    She wants someone willing to make some plans, get dressed up, and have a great time. Who always tells her how they’re feeling and reassures her when she’s worried.

    You should probably be hot, too.

  • Serious enquiries only. Don’t waste Kim’s time, and more importantly don’t waste my time (I’m the one reviewing applications!!!).

    I reserve the right to interview you prior to you meeting Kim.

    Seriously, you’ll have a blast. Are you ready for that? 

AS FEATURED ON

Our Process

We give you the facts

Take a look at the information on this website and die of sheer excitement over how amazing Kim sounds.

You apply

You submit your application, providing all the basic information that might convince me you’re worthy of my friend Kim.

I review your application

Within 5 business days of your submission, I will review your application and reach out to Kim to tell her about you. From there, she’ll decide if she wants to message you.

You take Kim on a date

You plan a date. You tell Kim the plans. You take Kim on that date. You pay the date (please?). You have an amazing time. Kim provides me feedback, and, if you’re lucky, you get a second, third, and fourth date. Happily ever after???

Are you ready?

Apply to date my kim

  • "i just want someone who will dress up as shrek characters with me, but who will let me be shrek. i'm the main character, not them."

    — Kim probably, in her diary, c.2017

  • "A professional team that delivers on their promises."

    Former Customer

  • "Their attention to detail and commitment to quality truly stood out. We’ve already recommended them to others."

    Former Customer